Scared straight program.

Discussion in 'Off Topic Discussion' started by Stick Man, Apr 14, 2011.

  1. Stick Man

    Stick Man Pain dealer
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    Anyone know of a scared straight type program for teens. Looking for something for my g/f's soon to be 17 yo son. I read about the Tarheel Challenge program in Salemburg, but you have to be a HS dropout, which he is not, but also they have to volunteer, which he wont, lol. Anything anyone?
    Thanks in advance.
     
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  2. Slacker

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    I'd check with the Sheriff's office. They may have some suggestions.
    If your thinking "Boot camp" type program, I think there is a long waiting list.
     
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  3. spittinfire

    spittinfire Member

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    Not trying to belittle the situation but can't you just whoop his ass a couple of times?
     
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  4. Stick Man

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    Oh man, that's what I would love to do. Ive tried to stay kinda neutral and let my g/f and his dad work through punishments and stuff, but this is getting ridiculous. His dad will not grant me permission to open up a can on him, but he stays here most of the time with his brother, which is a very good kid. One is on the A-B honor roll, listens well, doesnt screw up, and the other makes D's and says to us, well, at least Im passing. Freakin kills me. There's other stuff as Im sure you know what 17 yo's get into, but Im about to put a swift end to all this crap and be the really big arsehole. Sorry for the rant, but im starting to boil over here.
     
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  5. mekender

    mekender Lifetime Member
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    Honestly by the time they are that old, it wont do any good.

    Hell even my 12 year old is getting old enough to where physical punishment does not phase him.
     
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  6. ronn47

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    The USMC has a program
     
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  7. SPM

    SPM Lifetime Member
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    Indeed. I hear it's pretty effective too.
     
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  8. gtownwrench

    gtownwrench Lifetime Member
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    I went to the navy and got staightened out. I wil lnever forget what Chief Livingston told us the first day, " I am about to do in 12 weeks what your mommy and daddy couldn't do in 18 years".
     
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  9. Phantom Crab

    Phantom Crab New Member

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    Call some of the Seriffs departments and some of the Jails and Social Services in the area.

    If that does not work bring him over to my house my Wife has scared many.:7::7:
     
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  10. bigdaddy

    bigdaddy Registered Member

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    Actually most prison camps offer this program. If you locate the nearest camp to you and contact the programs department they will set you up. Central Prison in Raleigh has the best. If your interested let me know and Ill give you the name and contact info, you need. Trust me I worked for the DOC for 12 years.
     
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  11. Joe L

    Joe L Registered Member

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    +1
     
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  12. chiefjason

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    Not to make your life worse, but you have just over one year to do anything. Once they hit 18, it's all on them. And there is no one out there to help parents trying to help screwed up adult kids. We tried to get them at about 13-15 to do the most good. Around 16-17 they see the light at the end of the tunnel and just ride it out till 18 and then leave.

    You're in a tough place, that's for sure. There are involuntary placements out there, but they tend to be pricey. And if he does not want to change, no amount of time, money, or work will make it happen.

    You could always work on making his life miserable because of his behavior. No bed, just a mattress. No furniture. No doors. No money. Not allowed to go out. Cut every bit of unnecessary financial support off. Might send him over the edge, might prove a point too. But hey, that's the way the real world works. Work, or live on the bare minimum that you can scrounge. I'd be tempted to have a sit down and explain that on his 18th Bday, or the day after graduation, he WILL be moving out, so he better start preparing.

    Good luck.
     
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  13. Stick Man

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    Thanks guys. We had a 2 hour conversation yesterday, just him and I. We will see how that works. He has not always been like this, but in the last year he's started to hang around the wrong people and you know how that turns out. He also wants his license, but has to make "B's or no key's" in school, but he doesnt even care about that. Man, when I was 16, I did whatever was asked of me so I could get mine and drive. He acts like he doesnt care. And what really pisses me off, he's smart as hell, he just doesnt give any effort anymore, and has no ambition. Again, thanks guys.
     
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  14. DGraham

    DGraham Registered Member

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    Is it your house or hers? If yours then lay down the law. If the g/f doesn't back you on it then something is wrong there.

    I don't know anything about your situation, but that's what I'd do.
     
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  15. chiefjason

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    OUTSTANDING!!!!! Sounds like the crew he hangs out with him is having too much influence on him. Any chance of keeping him away from them by doing more as a family or more of him and you? Sounds like he's doing some of this to push your buttons too. Understand that and act accordingly. Even though he has pissed everyone off, you need to figure out how to exert more influence on him than his friends do. Some of that might be punishment, but some of it has to just be time spent doing stuff. That's tough to do when they are screwing up all the time. Something to think about.
     
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  16. Stick Man

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    Yeah, we stopped him from hanging out with those guys, and of course he got all butt hurt over that. Man, I've tried to do stuff with him. I think one of the problems is his dad never really had /has much to do with him. His brother plays sports, so the dad spends most of the time with him. They really have no bond/relationship. So, I try and get him involved with stuff, and spend time with him, but he doesnt want to do anything. If its not facebook or PS-3, he's not interested. He does play guitar every now and again, so I bought another set of drums so we could jam together, and that lasted all of about two months, and now he never touches it hardly. I've tried taking them camping, all they did was complain, doing other stuff, not interested. Im not trying to make excuses, but damn, after a while it starts to drive me a little crazy. Sorry so long.



     
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  17. ronn47

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    Hang in there and be a man for him to look up to now and later when he needs to remember what a man is and does.
     
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  18. Stick Man

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    Well, technically its her dad's house. It was a rental house for him, and he got tired of the tenants there and was looking for someone to move in. We were looking for a place together, and he offered that house up.
    She does back me on decisions, the problem is getting mom/dad/me all on the same page. They are a little more "soft" than I am. My dad was military and, even though he didn't run our house like a drill sergeant, he was strict. Im glad for it now.


     
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  19. chiefjason

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    Keep at it. He cares, even if he won't admit it. YOu can't replace dad, but that does not mean you can't be an influence. Heck, play PS3 with him. He'll never ask for help, even though his behavior seems to be screaming for it. Hang tough. Find anything to do with him. And try hard not to take it personal. Yes, he may be trying to piss you off sometimes. But stay focused on the problem, the pissing you off is a distraction.
     
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  20. Bailey Boat

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    Since when do we need "help" raising kids??? Sure as hell didn't need "help" making them!!!!
    Having been raised in an orphange 98% of my life between birth and age 18 I can tell you that old man West didn't need any help kicking my ass!!!! It was either the orphange or juvenile hall, pick one. I tried that (juvy) on several occassions and found I preferred the orphanage. If his old man won't stand behind the required attitude adjustments then send his sorry ass to live there full time!! MY way or the highway....
    Either you run the ship or he does.....
     
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