Stumbled into a domestic situation this morning.

Discussion in 'Concealed Carry | National 2A Laws' started by rantingredneck, Nov 24, 2016.

  1. rantingredneck

    rantingredneck Disposable apparently Lifetime Member

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    Got up this morning to go hunting. My son and I loaded the truck and headed to Hillsborough to meet the rest of our usual crew of family and friends at McDonald's before we head to the farm to hunt. As we were rolling into town on Orange Grove Road my father in law called to say that he and my nephew and brother in law weren't gonna make it. The rain turned them off. We were only planning to hunt a couple hours anyway. So since I was almost to McDonald's I told my son we would go ahead and grab breakfast and figure out whether we wanted to head to the farm to hunt a couple hours or head back home.

    I had just hung up with my father in law and as I'm turning off of Oakdale Drive onto Old NC86 a woman in a pink shirt suddenly appears in front of the truck. I mean she was just THERE. I almost ran over her. She proceeds to my son's side of the truck and says she needs help. I notice a car sitting southbound at the light at Oakdale on NC86 and assume for a moment there has been a wreck. I start to pull off the side of the road when she says, "Don't leave me, let me in, he's going to hurt me," or words to that affect. It all ran together. I tell her there is no room in the truck (there wasn't, all of our gear was in the back seat), and I'm not really keen on the idea of letting unknowns in the vehicle with me and my kid anyway. At this point I'm still uncertain whether this is legit or a ruse. I glance toward the car but my window was a little fogged and I couldn't see anyone outside of the vehicle and could only see light glare from the headlights. I'm still sitting in the in the middle of the intersection because I was mid turn when she popped in front of me. She says she'll jump in the back and to call 911. At this point since she wants the police involved I figure it's probably legit. She jumped in the bed and I drove to the McDonald's parking lot while dialing 911.

    I tell the dispatcher I need police to the McD's to respond to a domestic violence situation and start giving them the particulars. As I get parked, I get out of the truck and a guy pulls up behind me in a silver Camry. He gets out and is crying and yelling at her. She's crying and yelling at him. I'm yelling at my son to get back in the truck. The dispatcher keeps asking me questions. It was chaos for a moment but I focused on the threat. He was bouncing and pacing around like a caged animal and kept putting his hand in his jacket pocket. I pulled my sweater up and put my hand on my CZ and told him I was armed, stay back, and to get his hand out of his pocket. I told him the police were on their way. I said all this as much for the 911 dispatcher as for the jackass I was saying it to. The dispatcher was saying to separate myself from them, but that is easier said than done and given the circumstances I wasn't gonna stand there and watch him run her over or beat her more. He keeps saying things like 'think about our baby' 'don't do this' 'I'm gonna go to prison'.....

    Finally he gets in the car and fishtails out of the parking lot heading toward the interstate. I get the distraught woman into McDonald's and the police arrive and start taking statements. I told them what happened. Showed them my ID and gave them my contact info. They never asked to see my weapon or permit for those who are curious.

    Reflections and takeaways.....

    • I never drew my weapon. Didn't approach a point where I felt the need, though when the guy had his dominant (I assume he's a righty like the majority of the population) hand in his jacket pocket while his other one is waving and gesticulating at his girlfriend it seemed out of place. Still don't know what was in that pocket. Glad I didn't find out. I'm assuming at some point the notion crossed his mind that he had no interest in showing me. I'm guessing a knife of some sort.... His girlfriend kept saying "he doesn't have a gun" when I was telling him to get his hand out of his pocket. I'm guessing as bad as things were between them she didn't want to see him die either.
    • Sometimes a command voice works. I BELLOWED at the guy. Kept my head, no jitters or anything. I made him aware who the Alpha was at that moment and from what I can tell it worked. He didn't take a step forward after I put my hand on my weapon and commanded him to stop. I'm glad he did. Had no interest in shooting him this morning, and I didn't want it to escalate to a hands-on situation either. I had about 60 lbs on the guy, skinny little punk, but knives hurt and I didn't want to spend Thanksgiving getting stitches.
    • I kept him outside the 21 ft. line. Based on training and drills I've done with John and Scott at TAG (one of the drills at the "Intro to Trace Armory Group" class) we determined that my personal "Tueller" distance is more like 15-16 feet. But I wanted him further out regardless.
    • I need to do more instruction on SHTF stuff with my son. He got out of the truck and added another variable to an already intense situation. I had to split my focus between the threat, the phone in my hand, my son, and the distraught woman behind me. It was chaos..... We had a talk on the way home about staying out of Dad's way and behind cover in situations like that. I explained that as big as he is and as much as he would want to help me, he would be more of a distraction as I'd be worried about him getting hurt.
    • People suck. As the woman was giving her statement to the police we overheard that she is 3 months pregnant and he's kept her from calling anyone or getting away for the last several days. He broke her phone so she couldn't call for help. She saw the opportunity and jumped out of the car in front of my truck. She had a black eye and bruises on her neck and arm. She said God put me in the right place this morning. I'm glad I could help where I could.

    Thoughts, critiques, reflections welcome.

    Happy Thanksgiving all. As you're spending it later today with your families reflect for a bit on those who have no one or worse someone like this douche.
     
  2. JGrigg86

    JGrigg86 Shameless Glock Fanboy Club Subscribed

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    That sounds exciting. Glad you could help that woman. It sounds like she needs a lot more help.
     
  3. JamesLFlowers

    JamesLFlowers Well-Known Member

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    I will let those who know about such thing critique how you handled the situation. But I did want to say...

    Thank you for being a stand up, honorable man and protecting this woman. That could have been the mother, sister, daughter of any of us and it just proves that there are still people in this world who understand what it means to be a MAN.
     
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  4. Tailhunter

    Tailhunter God Help Us Club Subscribed

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    Only one thing out of tune that I see. Maybe keeping the distraught woman behind could have gone south. She may have ended on top of your head like a cat when you told her "man" you had a gun. :cool:
     
  5. Threshold

    Threshold Hall of Shame

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    Good breakdown of the lessons learned.

    Could you shed a little bit more light on this? I.e., how the initial contact went with them, duty to inform and all that? While it appears to be uneventful, it's frequently an easy place for things to get interesting (even just on the basis of LE contact with an armed individual in a tense situation).
     
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  6. rantingredneck

    rantingredneck Disposable apparently Lifetime Member

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    I had that same thought while it was happening and in the four-ish hours since. Women in these relationships do strange things when they see their abuser about to be arrested or hurt. Stockholm Syndrome.....
     
  7. Peter Griffin

    Peter Griffin Lifetime Member Lifetime Member

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    Good on you for helping, Tom
     
  8. rantingredneck

    rantingredneck Disposable apparently Lifetime Member

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    It was about as uneventful as you can imagine given the circumstances. Of course the dispatcher heard the "I'm armed, step back, hand out of pocket" conversation. Again that was purposeful. Near the end of my conversation with the dispatcher she did ask where my weapon was now. I told her it was holstered under my shirt and that I had never actually drawn it. I gave her my description and told her I was in the McDonalds. I told her I was the guy in the camo sweater and orange hat and I'd be hard to miss. The first officer pulled up as I was ending the call with dispatch. The first officer (female) approached. I told her I was the caller and was armed and permitted. She didn't ask for any documents or anything about my weapon. She just asked that I hang out for a bit so they could get my info and a statement. We went and ordered food while the two officers (one male, one female) interviewed the woman. About 10 minutes later a Sheriff's Deputy arrived. The first two were Hillsborough PD. We were in city limits. After we sat there about 20 minutes I asked if they still needed me. We sorta felt forgotten... The male Hillsborough PD officer took my name and number and address. He asked to see my ID just so he could get my address. I offered him my permit and he didn't want it. He was polite, professional, and didn't offer any criticism for how I handled things.
     
  9. J.Boyette

    J.Boyette Teacher of the Craft Lifetime Member

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    Tom,

    Glad you are alright and your son.

    Great job in dealing with unknowns and keeping them at distance.

    This will go down in your son's mind for the rest of his life as how my dad reacted and you are molding him into a hell of a man!
     
  10. Windini

    Windini Club Subscribed Club Subscribed

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    Heluva !
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2016
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  11. Threshold

    Threshold Hall of Shame

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    Thanks.
     
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  12. Krabba

    Krabba Registered Member

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    Wow, now that is an eventful Thanksgiving morning! Glad it turned out as well as it possibly could have and glad you were there when you were. Domestics are always tough because as has been mentioned, she could have quickly gone from victim to "LEAVE MY MAN ALONE!!!"

    Also thankful you didn't have the need to draw but were prepared to. This is one of those "defensive uses of a gun" that never makes it into statistics. Your response may well have prevented that woman from suffering further injury or death.
     
  13. rantingredneck

    rantingredneck Disposable apparently Lifetime Member

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    Thanks John,

    A lot of the instruction you, Scott, and Bob have given me over the years was running through my mind during this situation.
     
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  14. J.Boyette

    J.Boyette Teacher of the Craft Lifetime Member

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    Glad it worked out.
     
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  15. thewallrus

    thewallrus Active Member

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    My heart breaks for her.

    Good on you. May the rest of your Thanksgiving be blessed.
     
  16. Bailey Boat

    Bailey Boat Club Subscribed Club Subscribed

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    The situation with your son is what worry's me a little, out of the truck, possibly in a position to get hurt, etc... Other than that, good job..
    I have always schooled Laura that if I suddenly tell her to "get away" that she is, without question, or hesitation to get as far away from me as possible but try to be within observation distance behind cover. Thank God I've never had to say this to her but the day may come.... Educate your son, wife, daughter, etc...
     
  17. WNC Seabee

    WNC Seabee Former Member Lifetime Member

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    Good job Tom. Thank you for be willing to take a stand.

    I'll second John's comment about you being a role model for your son.
     
  18. Cowboysfan

    Cowboysfan Well-Known Member

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    My wife knows the drill that if I walk away I'll come back once all clears and if I tell her to go she goes without question. I've had this happen once I saw a woman walking down the interstate and stopped not expecting her to be crying. I dropped her ass off at the state police headquarters instead of the gas station across the street she wanted to go to.
     
  19. rantingredneck

    rantingredneck Disposable apparently Lifetime Member

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    Yeah, my wife and I have had that talk repeatedly. She knows her job is to keep the kids together and get to safety. I'll join them when/if able. Would she do it were we in a situation like today or worse? Unknown, haven't put it to the test.......

    My son is 11, though most would think him about 15 based on the fact that he's 5'10" ish and 175ish lbs. He probably had 20 lbs on the guy this morning..... `To date, I hadn't really gotten that "real" with him but that changes today. He's physically a man already, hell he wears a size 13 shoe (I wear a 12...). Time for him to be more emotionally and mentally a man, though understanding that his role is also to protect and herd the younger kids to safety and keep himself safe and observe/call for help if possible.
     
  20. georgel

    georgel Club Subscribed Club Subscribed

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    Good job. It may be a blessed Thanksgiving for the woman, due to your intervention, voluntary or not. Great learning experience for you and your son. A sample of the real world, where things are not so black and white and things, as you say, are chaotic.
     
  21. ArbowAxle

    ArbowAxle Registered Member

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    Glad it worked out! Sounds like you did what you were supposed to do, given the circumstances. You are correct, work with your son on emergency situations..... now that he has seen one first hand, and probably scared him a bit..... he will probably adhere to your every word.

    People such as the punk you mentioned are part of the reasons I'm really not a people person....... It makes you wonder just what the F I wrong with people. Anyway, back to the dogs.
     
  22. frozenmusic

    frozenmusic Club Subscribed Club Subscribed

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    Wait, wait, wait.. Wait just a damn minute. I call BS.

    A Toyota Camry does not "fishtail".
     
  23. rantingredneck

    rantingredneck Disposable apparently Lifetime Member

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    He was driving erratically with front wheels spinning and rear wheels slipping in wet parking lot. Hows that :).
     
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  24. chiefjason

    chiefjason Vendor Vendor

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    You didn't have to shoot him.
    You got to use the word gesticulating.

    That's a pretty full day. :cool:

    Good job.

    Did you get into the woods to calm down?
     
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  25. rantingredneck

    rantingredneck Disposable apparently Lifetime Member

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    Nah, I decided to head back home.
     
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  26. jrgreen

    jrgreen My Mom says I'm cool.

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    OK that was a joke. It truly pisses me off for some stupid turd who can't control his own urges to get it into his head that he should have carte blanc over someone else's life.
     
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  27. jlpskydive

    jlpskydive Staff Member Staff Member

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    Good job my man. For defending a victim and teaching your son how to act. I think you should have shot his pinky toe off, just for being that guy.
     
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  28. Flashpoint

    Flashpoint Club Subscribed Club Subscribed

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    Glad you and your son are OK after all that and thanks for sharing. This really illustrates how quickly the unexpected can occur. Regarding the responding officers and your CCW, didn't you at least have to inform them you were armed? If so that might be why they didn't ask. ;)
     
    Last edited: Nov 25, 2016
  29. Wahoo95

    Wahoo95 Club Subscribed Club Subscribed

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    Glad to hear you didn't shoot the guy for putting his hand in his pocket.

    Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk
     
  30. soreshoulder

    soreshoulder Staff Member Staff Member

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    nice job Tom, thanks for doing the right thing.
     

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