I once took my daughter out on the driveway and hosed her off with the garden hose. I just couldn't deal with it that day. lol!!

 

I wish they made big boy Bumbo chairs, they look hella comphy. Then theres baby poo....

 

So we're finishing up dinner tonight......my 5 almost 6 month old is sitting in his "bumbo" chair playing.

My 8 year old says "I can't get his leg back down in his chair" The baby has his leg cocked up out of the seat.

I'm done eating so I take my plate to the kitchen and come back and pick him up.

I'm bouncing him around in my lap and playing with him. He's grinning and loving it.

So then I look down at my lap......

And the greenish brown streaks across the front of my khaki shorts and hoodie......

And he's still grinning like crazy....

I yelled to my wife to take him and clean him up so I can clean myself up. She says, "But I'm still eating" I reply, "I don't give a ****, take this baby"

She takes him and then I look in the bumbo chair and see the turd laying there. He deuced in the chair and it squidged out the diaper before I picked him up. He was picking his leg up outta the poo.....

So .......I look at the baby and ask him why he deuced all over me. He looks back at me grinning with a look like "Dude, I deuced in the chair and was trying to get out of it, you're the one who decided to smear it all over both of us like some kinda freak..."

All in a days work......

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Baby 1
RR 0

(He's winning at this point)

 

Yup...real men have formula/milk smudges on their shoulders and Cheerios between their car seats.

 

nothing stinks like baby crap

 

I had to rewash a load of laundry today...as I was transferring to the dryer I ran across 3 gigantic turd balls. Like tennis ball sized and hard as a rock. Glad I found 'em before running the dryer.

It's just poo.

 

. He was picking his leg up outta the poo.....

At least he was smart enough to get away from it. That is before you smeared the both of you.

 

I had to rewash a load of laundry today...as I was transferring to the dryer I ran across 3 gigantic turd balls. Like tennis ball sized and hard as a rock. Glad I found 'em before running the dryer.

It's just poo.

Ever washed a diaper and have it swell up to the size of a basketball?

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Diaper filling can slow bleeding in a major trauma situation.

AndI am NOT talking about what the baby fills it with.....

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The thing I remember most about diaper days is how long I could hold my breath.

 

The thing I remember most about diaper days is how long I could hold my breath.

and.................. keep the stomach contents down.

 

I will have to say though, we should all be grateful that we have these memories. In the case of RR, recent ones, but I am thankful to have been graced with these memories. Based on what I've read on here in the past year or two, I'm sure the OP is grateful to savor the Dad thing.

 

The thing I remember most about diaper days is how long I could hold my breath.

You only changed your kids diapers on certain days? That's messed up.

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My favorite (?) gross dad story is when I was playing "helicopter" with my new baby boy, holding up over my head while he laughed...well, he puked. In my mouth. I swallowed. Covered my beard too. Good times.

 

And the faces they make when they were....
Making....



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My favorite (?) gross dad story is when I was playing "helicopter" with my new baby boy, holding up over my head while he laughed...well, he puked. In my mouth. I swallowed. Covered my beard too. Good times.

I can relate...
I was riding my ATV once with him on my lap... Hit a bump... He spit up....
Wind gave me a treat...
He was about 3, but 95 degree heat coupled with ice cream, hot dogs, a helmet and not listening to my wife

Okay, not a diaper story, but....

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My favorite is going to look at a new car and took our daughter out to old car to change her in the back. Well if any of you ever had to give your kids miralax you would understand when I say liquid. It rolled all over the back of the outback cargo mat, needless to say we left with a Volvo.

 

And the faces they make when they were....
Making....

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When my 3 yo heads to the potty, he insists that somebody come along and "talk about your day". Seriously, he sits on the throne and recounts the entire day while I'm on the floor in the hall. I know I shouldn't indulge, but it's just hilarious.

Here he is telling grandpa...

 

I will have to say though, we should all be grateful that we have these memories. In the case of RR, recent ones, but I am thankful to have been graced with these memories. Based on what I've read on here in the past year or two, I'm sure the OP is grateful to savor the Dad thing.

Most definitely Dave. Most definitely.........

My 8 year old, when he was about 2-3 weeks old, crapped up the leg of my boxers.

It was 2 am. I was sitting cross legged on the bed changing a wet diaper. Mid change.......face turned red and he projectile pooped up my boxer leg and all over my junk.....

Good times

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We (my wife) does cloth diapers for the kiddo wearing them currently... I had a pair of shorts "sneak" in with them once. I found poop in my pocket next time I wore them. Worst....

 

nothing stinks like baby crap

Never had a cat, I assume?

 

Good times

Absolutely, RR, absolutely.

 

We (my wife) does cloth diapers for the kiddo wearing them currently... I had a pair of shorts "sneak" in with them once. I found poop in my pocket next time I wore them. Worst....

Thats a nice surprise

 

RR, you brought back some memories for me. My daughters were very good at holding back projectile poop until the middle of a diaper change. And then let 'er rip. One time in particular really stands out, poop all over me and her mom, all over the changing table, the walls, floor, etc.

 

I've stripped nasty, liquid diapers off our son and held him in the shower to both clean that nasty butt and knock down the smell.

About a year ago, mrstrcubed and I were keeping our grandson while his mom and dad were on vacation. During one diaper change, she noticed his bottom was a little red, so she let him crawl around w/o a diaper for a bit. Not long after, I noticed a growing puddle of brown ooze spreading with him at the center. Thank goodness he was on the hardwood and not the carpet.

Good stuff, Tom. I'm glad you're enjoying it. Those'll be great memories for years to come.