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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Finally, I had originally posted this on another forum but I received some rude responses. Some guy with the call sign Mike79 even took the time to post a very derogatory "Let me Google that for you" message (the nerve).

Anybody know where I can find a 1911 that is double stacked, but with grips that are thin enough for my girly hands, factory 2 tone in Pink, Green and Gold, with an infinite magazine, no external hammer, has a flash light built into the slide, along with a laser, a pocket knife, and a cork screw?

Don't you dare tell me it doesn't exist and I'm not giving up till somebody spoon feeds me where I can find one.

Oh yeah, forgot to add, has to cost less than $5.00 and no Kimbers because they suck.

If anybody has a good line on body armor that can take 2 or 3 PBR shots from a 30-06 for, you know, when I'm covering some of my customer in an escape, that would be awesome.

Working as a security guard at Build a Bear, sure ain't what it used to be.

Freakin punks.
 

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3,807 Posts
The pistol you desire is hiding up your ass...you should be able to find it very easily seeing as how your head is up there as well ;terror :V
 

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I'm told I'm pretty awesome...
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Those build-a-bears can be dangerous if they get loose, better get a .50 cal conversion kit for that too for when you're on the back isles of the store...
 

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You should probably consider duck taping some hard trauma plates to your back and chest too. You know, for that extra protection that your soft plates just can't handle, especially from those large caliber rounds that are coming in from the snipers. One tip though, if you have any body hair, I would highly suggest shaving it off. Hair and tape just don't mix. Besides, you will look really silly with patches of skin where hair used to be.
 

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For the man on a budget, ide prefer using 2 inch stacks of copier paper ducktaped around the old torso. The best part is, cover it up with a hockey jersey and nobodys the wiser. Dont forget your lucky 5.00$ gas station cigarette lighter/pistol.
 

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Y'all just don't understand the dangerous lives us bankers lead...I carry .5 inch plates in my shoulder bag to protect myself in the event of a sniper attack. It can stop anything up to a .50 cal...anything more than that I will just rely on my ninja skills to evade the incoming rounds.
 

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This whole thread is moot until we decide whether you're going to conceal or open carry it.
 

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I actually saw that Dog Romeo guy on the 1911 forums. He posted a pic of the RIA he found and said there were a lot of trolls on another forum that were giving him grief about it.
 

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Y'all just don't understand the dangerous lives us bankers lead...I carry .5 inch plates in my shoulder bag to protect myself in the event of a sniper attack. It can stop anything up to a .50 cal...anything more than that I will just rely on my ninja skills to evade the incoming rounds.
If your plan A is to take multiple rifle rounds to the back then you need to come up with a plan B. LOL
 

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My boy has one of these. I use it for practice, and to piss the wife off.
 
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