Are you willing to marry her and live a life together where you share everything??? Good and bad??? This is that kind of decision, one that will effect both of you for a very long time. So is this the one?? If not, this is your decision point and only you can know what is best for you. If so the decision looks pretty easy. Good luck!!

 

My answer will be short and based on my life experience.
Lived with a women (and married part of that time to the same) for 13 years.
We were married after dating off and on and always had some problems but managed to make it work. Had a child. Married her because I thought 1. that was what you were supposed to do and 2. I thought that would make everything work out.

Ding, ding, ding.......WRONG.

From what I read above, go pursue your dreams. With luck, one day you will meet someone to share dreams with, I have.

 

If you really loved her (and wanted her as a life partner) you'd already know what you'd do to have her. Your love doesn't go that far, hence your "priority quandary". Your priority for living somewhere is greater than living with her. Simple. Stay where you are as you don't love her enough to move out with her. Your relationship is weak and will fail eventually anyway.

 

Your love doesn't go that far, Your relationship is weak and will fail eventually anyway.

Um, wow. I was asking for an opinion on an issue, not an attack on the relationship. I appreciate the honesty...however that is a pretty harsh approach.

 

What makes a new job with an un-known term length, better than a stable job?

Sounds like you guys are going in two different directions. It could be a couple of simple questions would help.

Would she follow you to another location giving up her job, so you can have a good job?

If you would take the job that she has received, why do you have second thoughts? This would require you to give up everything you are reluctant to give up now.

 

Um, wow. I was asking for an opinion on an issue, not an attack on the relationship. I appreciate the honesty...however that is a pretty harsh approach.

I'm not trying to be critical. I'm just pointing out that if your love were greater (stronger) you wouldn't be asking about moving out with her or not. Apparently your love for her is about equal to your love of where you want to live, hence the questions you are having.

Since your love for her isn't the greatest thing in the world to you I called your relationship weak. Many people with even stronger bonds have failed at matrimony. Just sayin'.

 

What makes a new job with an un-known term length, better than a stable job?

Sounds like you guys are going in two different directions. It could be a couple of simple questions would help.

Would she follow you to another location giving up her job, so you can have a good job?

If you would take the job that she has received, why do you have second thoughts? This would require you to give up everything you are reluctant to give up now.

She has said she would follow me to any job, however she has the same issues as me. Vet school here, life here etc. She says it, but she has never had to "put up or shut up".

I myself wouldnt take a job away from where I want to be. Thats the thing, if I were offered a job 6hrs from here (unless it paid a ton) I would stay and wait for one here. My degree has a wide range of jobs I can have, so I can spread myself out and have many options at any point in time.

 

BTW this priority thing works both ways. She is choosing her life decisions based on her own priorities. If her decision is set then it looks like her desire for a 'good job away' is greater than her desire to 'live with you.' It is what it is. It's really very simple. It's our job to simply respect the decisions of others.

 

Brandon,
Im assuming she took a livestock job...There were a lot of livestock agent positions posted that are closer to Raleigh than Macon County. of course too late now and they're off the site. My fiance just took an extension position, so I'm sure they'll be at the intro training courses together in februaryish maybe. Idk what you should do...but if you know anyone that needs some irrigation stuff of any kind...look me up man

 

Deleted

 

Brandon,
Im assuming she took a livestock job...There were a lot of livestock agent positions posted that are closer to Raleigh than Macon County. of course too late now and they're off the site. My fiance just took an extension position, so I'm sure they'll be at the intro training courses together in februaryish maybe. Idk what you should do...but if you know anyone that needs some irrigation stuff of any kind...look me up man

Yeah she took a livestock job. Apparently there were only 2 available in the state she was qualified for, McDowell county and Macon county. Couldnt find something closer apparently.

Hell, I cant blame her for going, its one of her dream jobs and would be great for her future success as a large animal vet. Just hard for someone who has never lived alone, and who has built a life here to be expected to just "up and move" at less than a months notice.

 

If she was the "one", you wouldn't be asking us what to do.

 

Myself personally, I'm not going to advise in the total scope of things...but I would above all at least stay put until I graduated. I don't know just how much time you have left, but I'm assuming its not long and I would not put that into turmoil this late in the game.

1. You have built a stable business on your own that seems to at least provide you a liveable wage.

2. You will graduate from NCSU...I would not disrupt that to complete taking courses at a community college. I am not being critical of community colleges, but I would not "shake that apple cart" at this stage.


I would make no changes until I graduated...but in the end, you have to decide for yourself.


Regards,

MD

 

2. You will graduate from NCSU...I would not disrupt that to complete taking courses at a community college. I am not being critical of community colleges, but I would not "shake that apple cart" at this stage.

Oh I mean, the degree will come from NCSU. I only have 2 classes left at NCSU, and I can take these remaining courses at a community college. Its cheaper, and easier than NCSU.

I actually have a 2-year degree now, just does not do me much good.

 

I don't live in Macon county but I do have a good college buddy who does. There isn't much going on in Macon county as far as jobs go. So I don't know how long it would take you to 1) find a job or 2) build up your business.

From what I'm seeing, you may be better off to stay put and see what happens.

 

If you really loved her (and wanted her as a life partner) you'd already know what you'd do to have her. Your love doesn't go that far, hence your "priority quandary". Your priority for living somewhere is greater than living with her. Simple. Stay where you are as you don't love her enough to move out with her. Your relationship is weak and will fail eventually anyway.

I don't know you Brandon but unfortunatly, I have to agree with Jeff.

If the love was strong enough, instead of asking for our opinions, youd be telling us you are moving and asking if anyone knew of good places to hunt and shoot guns in your soon to be new location.

She already gave you an ultimatum when she said she didn't want a long distance relationship. In this situation, true love would not give ultimatums.

JMHO

 

I have been married 20 years this year. I got Married when I was 19 and still married to the same wonderful women. If my wife had an opportunity where we had to pick up and move I would as she has done the same for me.

The fact you are asking a bunch of individuals on a gun forum should give you a clue. I am not trying to be harsh but sometimes the truth hurts. If you love her and she loves you then it is a simple choice. If not it is also simple.

In my humble opinion I dont think you really love her, your just in love with having someone around. Again I don't know the whole situation but I would figure after 7 years this would not be an issue.

May not be what you want to hear but it is what it is.

 

Not enough info.... Please post pictures.


Seriously, If you REALLY want to marry her. A year isn't that long. BUT, if she says I'm only living here a year but I'm not doing the long distance thing, that tells me alot.

 

We are only talking a year? Please, military families do this all the time. Finish your schooling, her job is temp and she is going to come back for vet school anyway. I don't see the issue here.

 

Does she know of your plan to live on your family land eventually? and is she good with that? If not, and that's your long time plan that you're not willing to give up, and she's not willing to accept, the rest seems moot.

I don't think I'm being harsh to say that you sound like somebody that isn't quite ready to end a dating relationship of seven years, not somebody who's concerned about losing the "love of your life".

After being divorced earlier in life, and being in love more than once or twice, I finally am married to the love of my life. There is nothing like it! Don't settle for less than that. There are worse things than being single...! I know from experience. I'd rather be solo thru ten lifetimes than to ever once again be married to the wrong person.

My family has lived on our land since the late 1700's, and I plan to as well.

 

Have the two of you even thought about living in both places you go there 2 or 3 days every week and she do the same. You know how long her job is going to last. But the big question is she wanting to move back closer(after this job) or is this her way of moving away? just my 2 cents

 

Well I'll add my two cents. If she is willing to leave you for her thing and you are hesitant to leave yours............My opinion (and we all know what that is worth) you will end up resenting her for "making" you move away from home. With that being said some time away from home may be exactly what you personally need. I am a military brat and once upon a time a Marine so moved all the time, I have met a lot of people in NC that have a very narrow view of the world. What I mean by that is, they think moving away from home is, for lack of a better word "traumatic" (wife's view).

Getting away from your comfort zone may show you something about yourself that will surprise you. Good luck with your choice.

 

We are only talking a year? Please, military families do this all the time. Finish your schooling, her job is temp and she is going to come back for vet school anyway. I don't see the issue here.

I was getting ready to say the same thing. It's only a year, and there are holidays/weekends in that year. If you can't make it through a year of hardship and/or seperation, then it isn't meant to be anyway.

I'm a practicing professional in this area.....I've been married twice

 

If she is "the one" she/you will wait. Even if she is "the one" getting married with todays odds is like playing Russian roulette with a double barrel shotgun! :8:

<>< Fish

 

I'm actually from Macon County originally, I left when I was 17 and haven't been back for more than a few days visit since. There are virtually no opportunities there aside from punch clock jobs or working for Phil Drake. In your shoes regardless of the girl I wouldn't go, but thats your decision. If you do decide to go, PM me, I can probably get you something short term to make some cash while you look around.