I had a curfew and so will my son. IMO it teaches responsibility so long as there are consequences as with your daughter.

They can have plenty of "fun" before midnight.

Life has rules. Whether she goes to college or gets a job your daughter will be better off having learned this lesson early.

Most of us go a little wild once we are away from home. Those of us that had rules and curfews tend to calm down a little sooner than the free birds.

 

I had a curfew and so will my son. IMO it teaches responsibility so long as there are consequences as with your daughter.

They can have plenty of "fun" before midnight.

Life has rules. Whether she goes to college or gets a job your daughter will be better off having learned this lesson early.

Most of us go a little wild once we are away from home. Those of us that had rules and curfews tend to calm down a little sooner than the free birds.

Agreed.

 

I had a curfew and so did my son, and I expect his son will have one, as well.

My daddy always said there was nothing going on after midnight that I needed to be involved in. I argued with him, but as a dad and grandfather, I now see he was right all along.

 

My daddy always said there was nothing going on after midnight that I needed to be involved in.

I heard that more than once growing up.

 

Regarding curfews. I have one who wouldn't obey it, and the other who didn't need it.
Kids. They come prewired, and don't let anybody tell you different.

 

They may beprewired but my father was an electrician. He could rewire us kids in a moments notice.

We're better today for it.

 

This explains it pretty dang well.

 

I shared this with my coworker.

You can be friends with your kids when they're adults. When they're young they need parents.

The truth. My son gets it now because he has a son, and is planning to follow the same path.

My coworker confessed to "raising" her 3 children as friends and it didn't work. Her daughter (24) has been to rehab with "mental health" problems, and the boys (22 and 18) are allowed to smoke weed in "only 1 room in the house." She divorce her husband because he was too strict. She is worried because her children are lost without her. I won't comment because she is okay with the situation and only offer advice, if she ask.

 

When I have kids, if they think it's OK to be out past a certain time without first asking, they'll have a blanket curfew, no question.

Can't say I had a set curfew, but I rarely stayed out too late and when I did I simply discussed it with my dad. If he said no, I could beg and debate and maybe get another 30min but that was it.

 

People (in this case parents) don't want to be bad cop and don't want to take responsibility for unpopular decisions.

Doing the right thing even when it's more difficult is rapidly going the way of the dodo.

 

Curfews are as much about learning firm schedules as anything. Kids should have to get up at certain time, too. Too many people never learned to respect other's time by being on time. A curfew is an appointment.

 

... A curfew is an appointment.

And one thing I tell my kids about appointments, there is nearly no such thing as "on time". You are either "early", or "late".

 

Different world....our neighbor 17 year old boy has his girlfriend over and she stays over for days (and nights), not that you can't do before midnight what you can do after midnight.


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Different world....our neighbor 17 year old boy has his girlfriend over and she stays over for days (and nights), not that you can't do before midnight what you can do after midnight.

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Wtf? Does his parents help him slide it in? That is crazy.

 

I don't have kids, but I was one once. I was told " As long as you live under my house, my rules"
Or I could live someplace else. They meant it. Dad said he would change the locks before I got home.
And he meant it.

 

When I was a young man I did not have a curfew. However, Dad, Mom, and myself all knew when I should be home without getting into trouble. No time was ever set or implied. But, I knew how long to stay out. Had I messed it up, I would have had a curfew that I wouldn't have liked. We all knew this.

 

personal responsibility goes a long way

 

I had one, my son will have one. As for the making the kid mad. I am his parent first, he has plenty of friends. When he is an adult our relationship will change more into a friendship role (but I will always be his father)

 

You can be friends with your kids when they're adults. When they're young they need parents.

 

This sort of goes along with the curfew subject because it involves parental rules, but my son went through a phase when he thought about getting an earring. All his motocross buddies were getting them, and I don't know how serious he was, but he mentioned it. I told him to go ahead, but to remember that I had a pair of needle nose pliers and would yank it out while he slept.

Whether or not I would have actually done that to my son isn't the point. The point is he thought I would...which kept him from getting the earring. Sometimes raising kids into good adults means figuring out how to get and keep the bluff over them. To this day, at 32 years of age, he believes I would have yanked that earring out, and I'm ok with that.

 

This is where the old adage came from..
"Old age and treachery beat youth and stamina every time." lol

 

My daughter had a curfew and it was strictly enforced.
She's 21 now and lives on her own but she still knows that usually people out past midnight are up to no good.

 

You know, I don't remember ever having a curfew. I'm in my thirties.... of course I also worked 2 jobs once I was old enough to drive. I think I never stayed out too late from sheer exhaustion..... after I had my fun. ;-)

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My Mom was a Teacher at my school, and my Dad was the Sheriff.
Not a Deputy...the Sheriff!

Eyes were always on me. Other than raising a little hell on motorcycles occasionally, I was a good kid.
I always told his Deputy's, that if they ever caught me being a yahoo, take me to jail! Do not take me home!

My Parents didn't really need to curfew me. The threat of certain death from the Sheriff kept me straight and narrow.
My little Sister on the other hand....
What is it with girls? Do they not think the rules apply to them..or is it just estrogen arrogance?

 

Good for ya warren,,,,My 15 yr old daughter don't understand why she cant date while all friends that age can. I told her its pretty simple,,shes MY daughter. I don't look at parents who do any differently,,They are their kids. They make their own rules.

 

I didn't have one. The only time I stayed out all night was to **** hunt.
I was a boring kid.

 

I sorta had a curfew, sometimes. I was low key and existed in the shadow of sibling drama and later death so I got away with a lot.

My child will have a curfew. It'll end when high school does as long as he choses to be a productive member of society.

 

My son had a curfew up until the day he got married and moved out. he didn't like it , but always lived by it. he even had a curfew when he got home from basic training, he wasn't crazy about it but like i told him, my house my rules. he did say once if he ever had kids they wouldn't have one.my how things changed when my little main man came along. he has an 11 oclock until he hit 18 then he had midnight. i did always tell him to not get kill making it on time, he just had to call and say i'm on my way. I know I'm one lucky old man because I have a truly wonderful son and he still says , the world would be a better place if everyone had to at least get thru basic soon as high school is over

 

I had one and several buddies all had same midnight curfew in high school that did us good. Course that was half the fun seeing how far you could push it and still make it by curfew time but thats another story and if I called to let them know I was going to be a little late I was good unless I did it often . Once I turned 18 it backed up till 1:30 but if I was in there house I had to play by there rules or pay a price and I get it now that I am older with my own kids and better for it. Never pushed it much either because if i came in late I think dad would purposely get us up early the next morning and find the most labor intensive job he could find on the farm for me that day and was a reason no one ever wanted to stay at my house as they got put to work instead of sleeping in. His idea was keep us to tired to go looking for trouble.

 

No curfew for me in the summertime after I got my driver's license at 16 back in 1979. I worked for my Dad in the summer when high school sports weren't going on. I'd either be driving home late from a strip mine delivery or up late mopping the floors and washing trucks. During school, I was too tired from practice and homework to stay out late.

My kids? My daughter always had a curfew when she was living in our house. Now that my son has recently got his driver's license, he has a curfew as well. But he is much less worrisome than my daughter was. I can't tell you guys how many times I had to go out to her car and pull the starter relay out of the fuse box under the hood, because I lost count. In my experience with raising kids, my son has been exponentially easier to deal with than my daughter.

 

they went the way of parenting... and the dodo...

 

My girls will, if they need it. One's a homebody and the other isn't exactly a social butterfly. But we will see. That could all change.

 

I didn't have one when I was growing up, but I didn't need it. I never went anywhere. I was an incredibly boring child. Also, I've had a job since i was 14 so that's a factor too. I also didn't have a bed time. I could stay up as late as I wanted, but it was made very clear that I was getting up and going to school anyway. Stay up until 3am playing video games? Still getting up at 6 for school.

My daughters (14 and 16) show very little interest in going out right now so we aren't concerned yet. If this changes, we will re-evaluate and give them a curfew if necessary.

I disagree a bit with the "People out past midnight are up to no good" sentiment. That disregards the large number of people who work different shifts. When I was 18, I had a 3rd shift job. I would work from 10pm until we finished, usually 8 or 9am. Even on my nights off, I would sleep during the day and stay up all night. It wasn't uncommon for my friend to call me at 2am and see if I wanted to get something to eat or just hang out. Even now, I often don't get off work until around midnight, so I'm often out getting food or doing grocery shopping at 2 or 3am.

 

I don't recall having an official one either. It rather was just expected to be home by a reasonable time.