I can beat that - I saw some weirdo staring at me as I jerked off this morning when I was driving down the highway near Ikea

 

Can't a man expect some privacy at 0430 in his own van?

 

Couple of years back, I saw a white-haired little old lady driving her Oldsmobile about 45 mph down the interstate in the wrong direction. (headed west in the east-bound lane)

 

Couple questions....

Don't know if you got a good look at his face or not, but if you did, what was his expression?

Did he appear angry or distraught? Was he teary-eyed?

If not, what you witnessed was a rank amateur who had absolutely no idea what he was doing.

Had you told us he was zipping along with the windows down, screaming, sobbing uncontrollably and listening to 'Crying' by Roy Orbison at full blast while beating it like it owed him money...

well, then you'd be dealing with a pro.

 

Couple questions....

Don't know if you got a good look at his face or not, but if you did, what was his expression?

Did he appear angry or distraught? Was he teary-eyed?

If not, what you witnessed was a rank amateur who had absolutely no idea what he was doing.

Had you told us he was zipping along with the windows down, screaming, sobbing uncontrollably and listening to 'Crying' by Roy Orbison at full blast while beating it like it owed him money...

well, then you'd be dealing with a pro.

I think shame would adequately describe his facial expression; more so because he "couldn't keep it in one lane" so that was throwin his rhythm off a bit.

I think the Amateur title wood fit nicely for him. It did break my concentration from the energy plasma related George Noory AM talk show I had on.

 

So… how long did you ride beside him? Did you last until he… ahh… "reached his destination"?

 

Coundnt have been me,, I have to use two hands and drive with my knee

 

Coundnt have been me,, I have to use two hands and drive with my knee

Tickling the back door with your off hand?

 

I've seen people fighting, cars burning, cars bouncing off walls, I saw an entire axle come free from a moving truck, I even saw a GD prison break, but I NEVER saw a fat guy fapping. you win.

 

State trooper car backwards in the woods right off of a really dangerous road.

 

Tickling the back door with your off hand?

Holy shit!

I was trying to think of some weird story to tell about driving... Hell with it, this shit is way more funny

Sent from my iPad using someone else's wifi

 

Naked guy walking down I 40 in Greensboro. A guy ridding along Windover hanging out the window of his truck hitting the car next to him with billy club. He was also pulling on the door handle. That went on for about a quarter mile before the unmarked Tahoe beside me turned on the blues.

 

Late one night me and some friends were going home a we passed a guy on a moped wearing nothing but tube socks and a helmet. We took pictures but this was pre smart phone so I have no clue where they are.

 

1- trooper in Mississippi eat it (like totalled the cruiser) into the median trying to turn around to chase us on our rush back to Lejeune from the first Mardi Gras after Katrina. We never even slowed down, just thanked Odin for our fortune and kept going.

2- never saw anyone fap but on some of my late night drives back to Jacksonville I fapped while dipping and smoking just to stay awake.

 

Not as good as the OP, but one day last week I was coming up I-77 getting off onto the inner loop of I-485 and traffic was backed up almost to I-77. I finally get up to the left turn lane when a large suv in the right lane starts to come around all of us in the line. I blew my horn at him and he slammed on the brakes, his door flew open, he jumped out and started toward my car. Then his truck starts rolling down the road and the dumb ass realizes he did not put it in park. He went to scrambling trying to get back in and stop it. When I went across the bridge, he was still sitting in the same spot as no one let him in. I got a good laugh out of it all.

 

I was stuck in Raleigh traffic one afternoon in my and watch the two women in the next car having a little "smoke".

Once they where done with that they started on each other. The wife was with me so I had to pull up in to the next lane as they where "disgusting" per the wife.

Just my luck as I had a great view.

 

I've always drove a big truck, back then an F 250 4x4. Was going to North Wilkesboro on Hwy 16 ans was taking the exit to 421 South. It is 2 lane and the right lane turns into the exit ramp. Anyway, this little BMW in the left lane, as I came around it (I had an excellent view) had this young lady in it with her dress pulled up around her belly and 3 fingers buried to the hilt under her tiny underwear! I liked to run off the exit! Another time, we were on a bus coming from Ft Erwin, CA to Las Vegas. I was on the right side of the bus. It felt like the entire left side of the bus shifted. I looked up and every Soldier on the bus was looking out the window. In this little tiny convertible was this huge, naked black woman in the passenger side giving head to the driver in broad daylight! She looked up, smiled at everyone and went back at it for all she was worth! I really didn't need that mental picture after 38 days in the desert!

 

Driving a lumber truck I pulled up along more than on guy getting a serious serving of road head. The one I remember best was a mildly cute blonde who just looked up, smiled and waved and then drug right back in.

For guys with daughters, teach them not to drive with their left leg pulled up and foot on the seat. I can't tell you how many free shows I got from young girls doing that in a skirt.

 

Not as good as the OP, but one day last week I was coming up I-77 getting off onto the inner loop of I-485 and traffic was backed up almost to I-77. I finally get up to the left turn lane when a large suv in the right lane starts to come around all of us in the line. I blew my horn at him and he slammed on the brakes, his door flew open, he jumped out and started toward my car. Then his truck starts rolling down the road and the dumb ass realizes he did not put it in park. He went to scrambling trying to get back in and stop it. When I went across the bridge, he was still sitting in the same spot as no one let him in. I got a good laugh out of it all.

Was that large suv a white dodge? If so, I think I met the guy under almost an identical situation a few months back. He got out yelling in the middle of I-77 about how he was going to " pull me out of my car and whip my ass". No worries. He has no idea how close he came to meeting the fnp 45 in my lap.

 

No, I believe it was a gold colored Chevy. My .40 Shield was right beside me.

Sent from my DROID RAZR HD using Tapatalk

 

I have seen that on numerous occasions. I used to commute on my motorcycle in the CA bay area. In CA, it is perfectly legal to "lane share" (split lanes) and this is what we do in bumper to bumper (and all traffic actually). You just wouldn't believe what people do in their cars. Eating cereal w/ milk. Getting blown. Getting stoned. SHOOTING UP!! Shaving, while reading the paper, etc. etc. Lost count of the masturbators (many of them women. "How YOU doin'?") and boogerpickers/flingers/eaters.

Seen some pretty goofy stuff, some of which can not be unseen. It's as if people think they are in a car with a cloaking device. The thing that always struck me was this: all the moto cops (CA CHP) split lanes, too!!

 

The last really odd thing I have seen while driving was about 4-5 years ago.

I was headed down 220 from Greensboro to Asheboro and saw a guy dressed in a white robe that appeared to be blood soaked, he had a crown of thorns and was carrying a huge wooden cross down the middle of the median.

I am dead serious lol, I passed the guy and thought to myself "wtf was that" and pulled a u-turn across the median to go get another look, just to be sure I really just saw that, sure as shit I wasn't seeing things.

Well after I went down the road a ways to the next exit and got back on track to where I was headed before I saw the guy a trooper in the meantime had arrived and was talking to the guy when I passed him the third time, according to some folks I spoke with later on the guy apperaintly had been doing this for a few years around Easter, so that gave me a little but if an idea whatnot was all about.

 

and boogerpickers/flingers/eaters

I don't eat boogers anymore , but there's satisfaction in watching one fly out the window

Sent from my iPad using someone else's wifi

 

I don't eat boogers anymore , but there's satisfaction in watching one fly out the window

Sent from my iPad using someone else's wifi

I've been sober from boogers for about 4 hrs.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-N900A using Tapatalk

 

The last really odd thing I have seen while driving was about 4-5 years ago.

I was headed down 220 from Greensboro to Asheboro and saw a guy dressed in a white robe that appeared to be blood soaked, he had a crown of thorns and was carrying a huge wooden cross down the middle of the median.

I am dead serious lol, I passed the guy and thought to myself "wtf was that" and pulled a u-turn across the median to go get another look, just to be sure I really just saw that, sure as shit I wasn't seeing things.

Well after I went down the road a ways to the next exit and got back on track to where I was headed before I saw the guy a trooper in the meantime had arrived and was talking to the guy when I passed him the third time, according to some folks I spoke with later on the guy apperaintly had been doing this for a few years around Easter, so that gave me a little but if an idea whatnot was all about.

There was a guy in siler city like this some years ago. This guy however did not do this for Easter. My buddy used to live across the street from the old Chatham hospital in downtown siler. We were having a party one night and his brother in law is a deputy for Chatham county. He saw some of his buddies over at the ER with the town "Jesus". Said he had checked himself in because his X-ray vision wasn't working...

Sent from my iPad using someone else's wifi